Illusion of asymmetric insight
The illusion of asymmetric insight is believing you understand other people better than they understand you. It also applies to groups, where each side thinks it sees through the other while being misunderstood itself.
In everyday life
Two coworkers in a dispute each believe they have figured out what really drives the other, while insisting the other has them all wrong.
After a few chats over the fence, you feel you have your new neighbor fully figured out, yet you are sure she has no real idea who you are.
Why your mind does this
Social life depends on guessing what others think and feel. Using our own mind as a model for other minds is fast and often roughly right, because people share a lot. It let our ancestors predict friends and rivals without needing to ask.
Its family, in 30 seconds: Mind reading
How to spot it
Notice when you feel sure about someone's true nature while feeling that they have misjudged you.
How to counter it
Ask the other person how they see you and how they see themselves, and compare their answers with your assumptions.
Same family: Mind reading
- Illusion of transparency
- Curse of knowledge
- Spotlight effect
- Extrinsic incentive error
- Illusion of external agency
- Illusion of asymmetric insight
SourcesPronin et al. (2001)·Wikipedia